


eclipses

by rain_at_dawn



Category: SHINee
Genre: Band Fic, Developing Relationship, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:35:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27742357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rain_at_dawn/pseuds/rain_at_dawn
Summary: Jonghyun keeps missing Jinki, until the day he manages not to.
Relationships: Kim Jonghyun/Lee Jinki | Onew
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	eclipses

**_i._ **

The consolation prize for staying up all night is supposed to be the first glimpse of sunrise. It’s what Jonghyun’s always heard, waxed poetic so many times in the books he collects that the idea has begun to wane after a time. After another Blue Night, followed by the gym, it’s only the rest of the darkness that he finds comfort in on the drive back to the dorm.

Instead of home, he’s been settling down into his old bed in the room he used to share with Taemin. He expects he’ll lie around on the mattress again, waiting for sleep to eventually weigh down his eyelids and try to feel mostly okay for a while.

Jonghyun assures himself that he’ll be fine, until he closes the bedroom door behind him and is hit face-first with a familiar scent on one of his jackets hung on a peg perched just above him. It’s not supposed to be like this; he’s gone far longer without the scent of the cologne he’d gifted Jinki.

But maybe it is; meant to be, that is. Heaven-sent, if he really does need to exaggerate.

It’s impossible to deny: he’s missed Jinki.

Jonghyun misses him.

**_ii._ **

He has a guest on Blue Night, an up-and-coming singer-songwriter from one of those indie agencies. In Jonghyun’s eyes, there’s nothing quite so extraordinary as someone’s plainness; that sweet sort of mundanity that masks so many brilliant minds. The woman is a few years younger than him, but already so unworldly in her expressions, so seemingly untethered to the corporate machinations that had to have dug into her creative processes at some point.

“Is there really a secret?” He asks her, to which she smiles and quietly replies: “Is there?”

The question sets his mind on fire, long after the show ends: _is there?_

He wants there to be; an answer tucked quietly away in a pocket of night, somewhere waiting to be discovered. If there isn’t, he’ll make one up.

On his way to sleep later, as dawn breaks, the rest of the dorm stirs around him: the soft slosh of water being poured into drinking glasses, the clinking of spoons and chopsticks against bowls, the steady patter of familiar footsteps and yawns as the rest of SHINee rouses themselves to face a new day.

In the background, Jonghyun listens for one thing: the distant sound of Jinki’s voice as he sings in the shower.

**_iii._ **

Suddenly, there’s clarity; at the wrong time.

He sees it right there in his eyes in the rearview mirror as he checks his reflection. The drive back to the dorm is becoming a habit. It’s not the same as being shuttled there from a schedule by a manager; a moment such as this belongs to Jonghyun.

And…

He pauses.

Jonghyun notices that he has a tendency towards this when he’s on the verge of realizing something this great: the pauses. All his friends have noted it and even his mother has commented on it by now: _‘who is it?’_

_‘who’s keeping you up this late?’_

Another round of questions that never leave his head, while the answer lies stubbornly within reach. Thes name which weighs on his mind isn’t up for sharing with anyone.

Instead of his bed, he makes his way to a chair at the kitchen table and rests his head on the solid wood surface. He closes his eyes for long enough that the next time he opens them, it’s like the room is flooded with sunlight.

From across the kitchen, Jinki gives him a knowing smile before turning to leave the dorm.

_**iv.** _

It’s killing him to realize that it’s taken this long for him to come to terms with it. Jonghyun leans back in his chair in the radio studio, far enough that he can tip his head back to be blinded by the overhead lights. He prefers darkness whenever possible, but it’s the recollection of Jinki’s smile that always has him looking forward to the dawn.

After the show wraps up, he drives down a different route that takes him closer to the outskirts of the city. A long and circuitous path, one that seems perfectly suited to the one he’s taken to find himself in love. There’s still a few hours left before sunrise; he looks at the sky and brings to mind the images of honey-dappled clouds dripping gold over buildings, roads, and people.

It’s the prettiest thing he’s ever seen and he’s so close to seeing it again.

When he finally reaches the dorm, he’s right on-time to catch Jinki as he leaves again.

“Where you off to?” Jonghyun asks, already knowing the answer.

Jinki knows that too.

“I’ll be back soon.” He replies, reaching out to give Jonghyun’s hand a squeeze.

That much, at least, is true.

_**v.** _

It’s been nine years that he’s loved Lee Jinki and nine hours that he’s had to contend with the fact that he’s in love with Lee Jinki.

On a rare night off at his mother’s house, he tells her that he’s been sleeping well.

“All through the night?” She questions him with a raised eyebrow.

“A few hours.” Jonghyun admits.

But those few hours have counted towards the many he spends awake, reliving those dreams in his head, of honey-dipped clouds and a sweeter, honeyed voice. “Quality over quantity,” he insists when she gives him a look over her mug of tea.

He still has to work late. There’s Blue Night and the volumes of music he has to get down to recording, what with the vast pools of inspiration he always has to draw upon during those hours. When he drives home, he catches himself singing, even though there’s no music playing on the stereo or his phone. He wryly makes a mental reminder to do it when Jinki’s around.

Jonghyun still doesn’t have much time to spend on Jinki when they cross paths again at the entrance to the dorm. But he’ll make time to leave Jinki with something else: a kiss to the cheek, long enough for him to imagine that he sees dawn break over Jinki’s flushed cheeks and soft smile.

* * *

_**+1** _

As usual, Jonghyun hasn’t kept track of time: not since he stepped out of the studio and into a nearby restaurant to join a reunion with some old friends, and definitely not since he signed into the gym at four in the morning to work through the feelings bubbling in his chest as the remnants of spicy ribs and soju warmed his belly.

He returns to the dorm at sunrise. After he taps in the code and unlocks the door, he’s enveloped in the scents of breakfast and coffee, and the sound of familiar music. It’s the latter he chooses to follow into the living-room, to where Jinki sits on the couch with his phone in hand.

Of course, Jonghyun recognizes this song; it’s one of his.

“What do you think?” He asks Jinki as he settles down next to him. It had been a break in habit to send someone else – who wasn’t his mother – one of his demos. Perhaps it was worth it to see Jinki smile like that.

“I love it.”


End file.
